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Thursday, December 30, 2010

They Stole My Idea!!

    Most of us I think will agree that warfare is nothing short of insane.  Throughout history most of the wars that have occurred have probably been the result of some insecure leader with some sociopathic desire to build a bigger kingdom.  The Greek kings, the Roman emperors, Ghengis Khan, Hitler, Hirohito, and Jay Leno have all just wanted to build up a bigger audience of loyal subjects.  In the wake of their wars innocent women, children, and civilians (i.e., Conan O'Brien) have paid the price for their ambitions.

    Personally I have always thought that when leaders get the urge to prove how big their dicks are, instead of involving soldiers and other innocents they should simply challenge the leader of whoever he or she wants to conquer to a duel, fist fight, or kick boxing competition and leave the rest of us alone.  Just let them fight it out and later let the rest of know who won.

    Now I have found that ABC TV has stolen my idea with their program Dancing With the Stars.  I don't know much about this show since I'm really not a fan of any of these reality shows.  But it's interesting to me how much controversy was created when Sara Palin's daughter, Bristol, remained as one of the finalists.  Apparently a large part of the scoring that determines who stays and who goes is a function of audience call ins, text messages, or email votes.  Those opposed to Bristol remaining in the finals attributed their opposition to being pissed about her mother's popularity and some Tea Party conspiracy to stuff the ballot box.  One guy made the headlines for shooting his TV and holding the police at bay for hours because he was so incensed with Bristol's success.

    How cool is that!?  That's how we should resolve all conflicts.  At one time I thought it would save us all a lot of trouble if we had George W. simply get in the ring with Achmadinegad or Saddam Hussein.  Or to find out who would take less time to disembowel Achmadinegad with a fish filleting knife, Sara Palin or Hillary Clinton.  That might be a tougher one to call then one might think even after watching some of Palin's Alaska show.  But let's face it.  It would be very unfair and probably painful to watch Barack Obama go up against Arnold Schwarzenegger in a cage fight.  Hell look at Obama.  He probably couldn't beat Queen Elizabeth.  It would be fun though to watch some hair pulling matches between Michelle Bachman,  Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Barney Frank, and some of the other girls out there. 

    But we're in a world of advocating non violence now so Dancing With the Stars is a perfect solution.  Let's do it.  We could have Kim Jong-il square off against Lee Myung-bak and the winner would be right about who conducted the first act of aggression.  The winner could then take on Naoto Kan to see who gets bragging rights for the entire geographical area.  Next, there should be a battle between our own president Barack Obama and the president of Mexico Felipe Calderon.  If Obama wins, Arizona's illegal alien Proposition 1070 would stand.  If Calderon wins, we would dissolve its passage.  Then again, this might not be a good competition since it seems more than likely that Obama might literally take a dive.  Better still, let's have Jan Brewer compete against Calderon.

    Next we could have Barney Frank compete against John Boehner.  What a hoot that would be!!  The winner could have their particular view prevail in the government controlled health care debate.  Whoever wins would end all the nasty commentary and hissy fits exhibited by both politicians and the media.  Plus, how cool would this competition look?!!  Check it out:

    Frankly, I could care less if Dancing With the Stars has stolen my long believed idea.  I really don't care who else might steal it either.  But hey, if it saves lives, saves money, and provides us with some entertainment along the way, what the hell.  Have at it.  Having all these morons compete through dancing would be a vast improvement over what we have today so be my guest.  Meanwhile, I personally am just going to order something from Netflix.  No shooting your TV though.


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