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Friday, January 28, 2011

What's New Pussycat, Woa Oh Woa Oh Woa Oh

    There was an article in the January 18, 2011 edition of the New York Daily News concerning the plight of Sal Esposito who was recently summoned to appear for jury duty in the state of Massachusettes.  Ordinarily there would be nothing remarkable about the story except that in this case Sal happens to be a pet cat.  Sal's owners/"parents", Anna and Guy Esposito petitioned the court to have their pet Sal disqualified from jury duty on the basis that Sal "is unable to speak and understand English".  Anna and Guy also included a letter from their veterenarian explaining that Sal is not a human being.  The court rejected the petition and as of now Sal is required to report for jury duty at the Suffolk Superior Crown Court in Boston on March 23, 2011.  So I wonder.  Who is running this court?  Tom Jones?  Felix?  Maybe Garfield?  Recently I wrote about why the word duh was invented.  This is yet another example of why the government should never be allowed to run anything.

    After all, we all know how arrogant and belligerent cats can be.  They strut around all day as if their shit doesn't stink and the truth is that they really do at least understand the English language.  They just choose to pretend that they don't.  Dogs on the other hand clearly understand at least basic English and they are loyal and obedient.  So if our courts are that hard pressed for jurors, petition dogs and not those damn cats!!

    But here is even better news.  For those of you who might have missed it I will refer you to my October 3, 2010 posting, Houston We have a Problem, in which I wrote about my friends from the Red Rock Cafe in Garnerville, New York who were willing to volunteer to move a space shuttle to New York City.  In that article I described in detail how between myself and my friends Joe, John, Bill, and Tony with the bad shoulder, we were willing to move a space shuttle saving the tax payers about $18,000,000,000.  Once again we have gathered together and we have decided to make the following offer.  If the city of Boston has run out of dogs and human beings to serve on their juries, we will volunteer to help out.  I have to believe that even if Tony has a bad shoulder, that has to be at least somewhat less disqualifying than the lack of being an actual human being.  Write me back Boston.  We just want per diem expenses to be covered and then we will be ready, willing and able to serve.


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