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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

    So today the federal government, in the name of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, cancelled the trademark of the Washington Redskins claiming that it was "disparaging" to native Americans.  Now while I don't think that anyone who has ever watched a Redskins football game has ever thought about covered wagons lined up in a circle while indians were being shot.  If we're going to take political correctness to this extreme, then I have a few other suggestions.

    We should ban Cracker Barrel for starters.  What's this about?  Shooting a bunch of white people in a barrel?  And what about Cracker Jacks?  This is obviously a reference to white people dressed up in Nazi style "jack" boots.  I am very offended by these brand names.

    Next we have a candy product that's been around forever called Dots.  Is this some kind of slur against women from the country of India?

    And what about Dick's sport shops?  We should change it to Genitalia Sports Shops.

    Another candy called Mounds.  An obvious reference to the female anatomy.  Should be banned.

    Midget football.  Are you fucking kidding me?  How does anyone get away with that.

    Black sheep of the family, the pot calling the kettle black.  This should all be changed.  Sheep of color, dogs of color, kettles of color......that would be far more appropriate.  By the way, as I write this, I am wearing a sleeveless shirt of color.

    While we're at it, we need to change the names of Indiana and Indianapolis.  I wonder how that would go over in an otherwise red state.  But hey, I doubt that either name was derived from some girl named Diana.

    Many times when I was doing yard work during the summer I ended up with a wet back.  I guess now I'll have to change that to a pore secreting back.

    And last, senior citizen?  Since I am apparently one of them I can confidently say, fuck you!!  Last time I was a senior citizen was at the age of 17 when I was in high school.  Now I'm just a little older.

    I say bring back Sambo's.  If we have to make a choice, call it Sambo's instead of insulting all those freckled faced Irish people named Denny.


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